He arrived in New York six months later, settling in Brooklyn. When I got home, my mother said, 'Since when have you been funny?' He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.”“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.”“I played a great horse yesterday! says his friend. He was a hit -- and, as a colleague later said, ''Music's loss was comedy's loss. His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.”“How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put ‘page 2. He told me to quit going to those places.”“I was just in London – there is a 6 hour time difference.
When you’ve lost all your marbles…”“A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. ''Compared to what? I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.”“Those two are a fastidious couple.
I said, 'What time can you make it?'
''I came out of left field. ''TimesMachine is an exclusive benefit for home delivery and digital subscribers.Henny Youngman, King of the One-Liners, Is Dead at 91 After 6 Decades of Laughter Henry "Henny" Youngman (original Yiddish surname Yungman; 16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner"; his best known one-liner being "Take my wife ... please". And his one-liners almost begged to be followed by rim shots. I showed her the check -- and that's what convinced her I was funny. Schwartz." Schwartz."
Youngman's monologues were once the talk of the Carnegie Deli, Delancey Street, the Friars Club and, in the summer, the Catskills. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.”“My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale’s. Initially, Henny Youngman was marked for a six-minute spot, yet he was funny to the point that his time was reached out to ten minutes.
In my case, it was almost impossible.”“My brother then opened a tall man’s shop in Tokyo.”“My dad was the town drunk. His first shot at stardom came as a bandleader, the head of a group called Henny Youngman and the Swanee Syncopaters during the 1920s. She always stuck by me, and that's what counts. Desperate, the manager asked Henny to go on.
“What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask!””“A Jewish woman had two chickens. ''The line became so popular it was included, in 1988, in ''Bartlett's Familiar Quotations.''Mr. He grew up in the borough, learning to play the violin at his father's urging, attending the Brooklyn Vocational Trade School, and becoming a printer.
Henny Youngman’s family was Jewish.
One-liners are great at a "Roast" retirement party. Then it's too late.My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" ''I was a greenhorn,'' he recalled in his autobiography, written with Neal Karlen. Thanks!
They teach you to fill your mouth with marbles and talk right through the marbles. They were bobbing for french fries.”“Two Santa Clauses on the corner. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy.
The following one-liners are from the Rodney Dangerfield and Henny Youngman. I was afraid to bet.”“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”“I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. He also worked as a tummler, a kind of social director. Henny Youngman got his opportunity of a lifetime when the standard satire group at the Nut Club in New Jersey neglected to appear for a presentation and the administrator was frantically searching for a substitution. Henry Youngman Stand Up Jokes Airport Jokes Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." and runs out the door.
Henny Youngman, the Borscht Belt comic dubbed the king of one-liners for cracks like the immortal "Take my wife, please," died Tuesday. That was only for the estimate.”“She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.”“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. ... Groucho Marx, Emo Philips, Steven Wright, and Henny Youngman, among a bajillion others.
Finally, I let her out.”“There were three kids in my family.
Henry's aunt bought him a violin, and his father decided he should become a violinist in the Metropolitan Opera orchestra.
Nem di gelt. How can you tell the Polish one?
One-Liner … The machine tore his leg off!”“I know a man who doesn’t pay to have his trash taken out. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.”“A Polish man in a helicopter. ''Take my wheelchair -- please. His phone number was listed in the Manhattan directory; when the phone rang, he was likely to say, ''Answer it!
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