Second, you are totally generalising women in a way that implies they are all shallow, again, judgmental. Women choose their mates from among men they find attractive. See if your school has a counsellor, or read our article on how to talk to your parents about needing help to get counselling bit.ly/talktoparents. That if you don’t ‘give your life’ for someone it’s not love is an example of an assumption, and sounds more like a Hollywood movie than reality. Some have tried finding dates on my behave and I’d usually just say no or slip away.Kevin, thanks for the courage to comment here. In summary this is not healthy behaviour she is exhibiting, she is pushing but holding on, giving mixed signals and possibly manipulating, so so clearly there are very real issues.
I’m always worried that they’ll leave one day and that they don’t like me at all. seems like impossibleI’ve completely given up on love. As a student, your college or university might provide free or low cost counsellors. But I can’t feel it. What would life look like if you just let go of this need? Of course this is not true. Letting go of what? It might only take a few sessions of talking to someone who doesn’t judge you and you can share all these hurts with to start to feel like yourself again. We are here to tell you it’s all rubbish, and it most films and books also portray really unhealthy behaviours as ‘love’. Two former movie stars, Marian Bennett and Michael Reyman had a brief and bitter marriage during their careers in the 40's. I’ve come to a point where I just don’t seem to care anymore. I know that his step father was very physically abusive and that he had a really rough childhood. Of course we do not know you and your life experiences, or if you have other co-existing conditions, so we can’t really say what is and isn’t right for you.
So we’d definitely say your childhood has negatively affected you and you would be wise to seek professional counselling. Give yourself time to feel better. This probably stems from having a parent who you had to be ‘good’ and ‘perfect’ to receive love from, resulting in what is called ‘anxious attachment’ and codependency (you can find articles on our site about these things). Both more than merit seeking some support. So making the other person ‘so wonderful’ and you awful just can’t be the reality. It’s like you are slamming doors with every sentence.
Each of the relationships that I’ve had have been toxic, volatile, and extremely hurtful. I got in a touch with a guy I liked for a long time and we want to be together but I don’t know, he is not like my ex. It really does seem like there is a belief you have to ‘earn’ love, which is codependency (when really we all deserve to be loved without effort, just for being ourselves). But what good is it, when I can’t feel anything towards people, other than fleeting, petty, clouded moments of some sort of affection, I wonder? Ok. As for the bullying, that is really hard.
I can’t really miss what I’ve never had, I can only be curious about how it’d be to be in a relationship.ihave tryed for years to findlove still havent foundbut ihad sezures and aspergers and iam happy just keep trying i gruess it will happen when it happens ayyi’m not man enough… i get the, “sorry but you’re not good enogh for me” smileSome of us will never know what it’s like to experience intimacy because no woman could ever be attracted to us. I had a few dates, somethings got better for me but others just got worst.My adolescence definitely had something to do with it. You are getting to know who you are over pretending to be in love just for the sake of ‘fitting in’. How would that feel?
I have someone in my life now who I really like. This type of bullshit is from watching too many movies and sob stories. It’s not their fault. It is your life, and you are free to live in any way that works for you.
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